I was 20 before I went on my first date.
And then I married him.
It’s not that I wasn’t allowed to date growing up, per se. It was just … heavily discouraged. My father used to make the standard Not Allowed To Date Until You’re 30 jokes, and for once he was genuinely just joking.
It was actually my mother who didn’t want me dating and looking back, I can see clearly her primary tactic to keep me from doing so. She often used my fear of my father to manipulate me, and that’s what she did here, telling me that if I ever started seeing someone, I would have to tell my father. She wouldn’t do it for me.
Hence why I didn’t date until I was 20. (For the record, when I told my father, he didn’t care.)
All of this is to say that I missed out on that whole teenage dating angst phase of life.
Then I got divorced.
I’m ashamed to admit that when that happened, I lost my mind for a little while, and dove wholeheartedly into the whole relationship drama … thing. It’s the only way to explain this, possibly the most embarrassing quote in the entire book.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
Oh, the cringe!
I don’t even know where it came from, as it’s attributed to “Random Email.” But before my divorce I’d developed a crush on somebody who was in a relationship, and when my husband and I split, it went into overdrive. Sticking with the ‘go big or go home’ philosophy I seem to have adopted at the time, this dreck sounded good to me.
I’d love to say it was a short-lived phase, but I carried a torch for this person who, by the way, was an absolute asshole, for far too long. Much longer than the months between when my husband and I split, and when I started dating Ron.
Gods, Ron had the patience of a saint, dealing with all my drama in those early days. Honestly, I owe him an apology.
So that’s what I’m gonna do here, and flip this embarrassing quote from a negative to a positive, and say a heartfelt ‘sorry,’ and an even more heartfelt ‘thank you,’ to the person who is the biggest and best part of my life, and has been for 20 years.
A much, much, much better 20 years, by the way, than the ones referenced at the start of the article.
To see previous posts in my Quotes series, click here.