It’s Movie Time: Clash of the Titans (2010)

As always, Spoiler Alert

The English department of the high school I went to was very big on showing companion films to what we were studying. It was most often done for whatever Shakespeare play we read that year. The ‘cafetorium’ would be closed for the morning and the entire grade would watch Romeo and Juliet or King Lear or whatever. But it wasn’t always Shakespeare. I remember watching both Fahrenheit 451 and To Kill a Mockingbird, as well. Movie day made us students happy, as we got out of class and there was never any homework, and I suspect not having to make a lesson plan for the day made our teachers happy, as well.

One year, during our Greek myth component, a classmate asked what movie we’d be watching and was told, “Nothing.” When asked why not, the reply was that there weren’t any appropriate films out there.

This did not sit well with us. We were being robbed of one of our precious movie days! So someone suggested Clash of the Titans. (The 1981 version, as this was in the mid-’80s.) They said no, because, “It’s not a very good movie.”

Based on the 2010 remake, I’m gonna say they made the right call.

It’s too bad, because the trailer for the 2010 movie is kick-ass. But it’s a case of the trailer being better than the movie, as the most entertaining part about it was the repeated, “Holy crap, (insert actor name here) is in this too?!?” Seriously, with the likes of Pete Postlethwaite, Mads Mikkleson, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, Gemma Arterton, Jason Flemyng, Nicholas Hoult, Alexa Davalos, Liam Cunningham, Alexander Siddig, and Luke Evans, in it, this should be one helluva movie.

It’s not.

Now, I’m a huge fan of Greek mythology. I’ve been reading it since I can remember, it was my favourite subject in high school English, and Greece was the destination of my first “real” trip specifically because of those myths.

But even though Clash of the Titans is based on some of the greatest stories of all time, it somehow manages to suffer from bad storytelling. I mean, it features a godly squabble between Zeus (Neeson) and Hades (Fiennes), a beautifully rendered Pegasus, demigod Perseus’ and the King’s Guard going on a quest, and battles with iconic figures such as the Stygian Witches, Medusa, and the Kraken. With all that, it should be a sprawling, nail-biter of a film.

And yet, it’s boring. It gallumphs along with characters it’s hard to care about and no real tension. The comic relief aren’t particularly comical, the villains aren’t particularly villainous, and the hero isn’t particularly heroic.

It all adds up to a movie that isn’t particularly worth watching.

To see other posts in my venture to watch my movie collection in alphabetical(ish) order, click here.

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