A Middle-Aged Worker’s Twelve Step Program

Step one: Leave jammies on because you’re cold.

Step two: Wake up two hours later because you’re hot.

Step three: Remove jammie bottoms.

Step four: Immediately need to pee.

Step five: Stomp to bathroom.

Step six: Pee.

Step seven: Stomp back to bed.

Step eight: Remove t-shirt.

Step nine: Jump through roof when text notifier goes off three minutes later.

Step ten: Try to get back to sleep.

Step eleven: Don’t get back to sleep.

Step twelve (probably): Fall asleep in the insulation aisle sometime around mid-shift.