That’s Going in the Quote Book: #10

The newest in an ongoing series of Quotes I’ve collected. To see previous posts in the series, click here.

What the mind sees clearly, the heart often clouds.

“The dragon token” by melanie rawn

Only ten quotes in, and here’s a second appearance from the same book series. (You can revisit the first one here.) I think it’s safe to say we know what I was reading when I started collecting quotes.

I remember exactly why this one made the book. It was a few months after my ex-husband and I split, and a few weeks after Ron and I started dating. So, y’know, rather a lot of upheaval in rather a short span of time. I was pretty emotional, and this quote served as a reminder both to not get overwhelmed by my feelings, and to listen to my brain as well as my heart.

It turned out to be bang-on appropriate, too, for such a transitional time in my life, as it applied both when looking back and looking ahead.

Looking back at the end of my marriage, it’s clear to me that I’d known I wanted out for quite some time, but kept trying to limp along within it because I felt guilty for … well, for my feelings. My mind knew that wasn’t sustainable, but my heart insisted I keep trying for all the wrong reasons. I was so concerned about everyone else, I forgot all about myself. I could have saved myself a lot of anguish, and shortened an unpleasantly drawn-out process, had I just done what my mind had been telling me to do for so long.

On the flip side of things, the looking ahead part can also be tied into a relationship.

My heart did the whole pitter-pat thing with Ron right off the smack. One date and I was fucking hooked.

Seriously, this could’ve been my theme song.

But it didn’t take very long for my mind to realize that we were never going to survive as a couple. My heart didn’t much like that surmise, though, and once again it insisted I keep trying. The difference this time around was that I was staying miserable in the relationship because I figured I’d be even more miserable out of it. I didn’t feel guilty for my feelings. I was clamping onto them with both hands to make sure they didn’t get away.

This was also not sustainable.

It took lots of drama – just so much drama – to wear my heart down enough to listen to my mind as it kept waving its arms to get my attention while screaming, “Would you stop already!” And I think Ron may have had similar feelings, because he seemed as relieved as I was to stop trying to cram ourselves into the traditional, romantic couple stereotype. Now we live together as friends – friends whom people routinely assume are a couple, true, but ‘just’ friends, nonetheless and, while I can’t speak for Ron, I know I’ve never been more content.

So this quote had proven quite valuable over the years, as it reminds me of a couple of things about myself, and how to build a healthy life.

First, I feel everything, and I feel it big.

And second, things go so much better when I tell my heart to relax a little bit and let my mind have its say, too.

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